I'm almost positive I've used the title "New Beginnings" several times before...I suppose that kind of defeats the meaning of the title, but that's kind of representative of where I'm at right now.
Let me start by saying that I'm now almost 4 months out from graduating college and still unemployed professionally. Also I'm almost 4 months out from my last relationship and still pathetically...(and desperately) single. I'm still living with my parents in my same high school bedroom and still working in the same tired mall I have for years. I guess there is really very little "New" in my life...other than the same sad realities I've been facing for the past four months.
There is something about those last few months of college. You feel like your life is finally starting to come together. It is almost like you're reaching your peak in that phase of life. I felt so accomplished, smart, and together. I was doing well in my classes and I had just taken a promotion at work. To top everything off I had just started dating my "dream boy." I had everything. EVERYTHING seemed perfect and I thought when I graduated everything would just get better...because after all, life has to be better without homework, right? Wrong.
I can still remember vividly my last day of school. I literally lost everything that day...I just didn't realize it yet.
Little did I know how much I was going to miss my university life. Little did I know that my boyfriend had decided he was done with me that day(unfortunately he didn't decide to fill me in at the time). Little did I know that all my hard work in school would mean nothing in the real world. I guess for all that knowledge I had acquired over the last 4 and a half years...I really didn't know that much at all.
Life has been pretty complicated since then. I ended up being pushed out of the job I had known and loved for 3 years by a new, evil boss. I was cheated on and dumped by my "dream boy". I also discovered my "dream boy" gave me mono. I stepped down to a job that paid me below minimum wage to sell sneakers. I realized finding professional employment is a job in itself. I also realized that this job of FINDING a job is similar to finding a needle in a haystack.
In short, life has been rough. In fact, I sometimes look at the past few months and it just seems like one big blur of misery and struggle. I spent so much time the past few months drinking, crying, sitting in a daze, and trying to understand why everything fell apart.
The good news is that I guess I'm finally starting to accept this reality and work with it. At the very least, I've decided that blogging might be a good way to release some of my troubles and frustrations.
This may not be the most interesting, exciting, or fun blog to read, but maybe somewhere out there is another lost post grad soul that might take comfort in the musings of another kindred spirit.
Here's to this "new beginning".
